How to Raise An Adult

How to Raise An Adult

Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare your Kid for Success

Book - 2015
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"A provocative manifesto that exposes the detrimental effects of helicopter parenting and puts forth an alternative philosophy for raising self-sufficient young adults. Across a decade as Stanford University's Dean of Freshmen, Lythcott-Haims noticed a startling rise in parental involvement in students' lives. Every year, more parents were exerting control over students' academic work, extracurriculars, and career choices, often taking matters into their own hands rather than risk their child's failure or disappointment. Meanwhile, Lythcott-Haims encountered increasing numbers of students who, as a result of hyper-attentive parenting, lacked a strong sense of self and were poorly equipped to handle the demands of adult life. Alarmed--for the students, for their parents, and for society at large--she decided to fight back, with this book. In How to Raise an Adult, she draws on research, conversations with educators and employers, and her own insights as a mother and student dean to highlight the ways in which over-parenting harms children and their stressed-out parents. She identifies types of helicopter parents and, while empathizing with parents' universal worries, offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success. Relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of twentysomethings, this book is a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure that the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence"-- Provided by publisher.
Publisher: New York : Henry Holt and Company, 2015
Edition: First edition
ISBN: 9781627791779
Branch Call Number: 306.874 LYTHCOTT-HAIMS
Characteristics: x, 354 pages ; 25 cm


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Mar 11, 2016

This is interesting food for thought on something that might not occur to many parents - how doing everything for your child can harm them later in life. It discusses such things as the college testing and the extracurricular activity arms race and parents trying to get their kids into name-brand universities when they may be happier at a lesser known school. Overparenting definitely happens in this area.

Dec 29, 2015

More a morale booster than a practical guide, its main focus is on affluent families with college-bound teens. I appreciate its message that such kids need to learn more self-sufficiency and parents need to get out of their way. But I would disagree that it's "liberating" to encourage teens to apply not just to the top 10 colleges, but the top 100: even those are out of reach (not to mention unaffordable) for the majority of modern families, though maybe not in the author's rarefied world. And she doesn't even conceive of a world where kids might choose to skip college altogether.

Oct 25, 2015

This book is for parents who are micro-managing their kids into college and their careers. If you're looking for help on how to raise an independent, self-reliant, and confident child, don't expect to get it from this book. The author mostly quotes other experts and gives lots of examples of children that have way too much dependence on their parents. However, there is little in the way of constructive advice on how to parent them so they are self-reliant and learn life-skills.


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Oct 11, 2017

mom2niamh thinks this title is suitable for between the ages of 25 and 90


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