Nonviolent Communication

Nonviolent Communication

A Language of Life

Book - 2015
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What is Violent Communication?
If "violent" means acting in ways that result in hurt or harm, then much of how we communicate --judging others, bullying, having racial bias, blaming, finger pointing, discriminating, speaking without listening, criticizing others or ourselves, name-calling, reacting when angry, using political rhetoric, being defensive or judging who's "good/bad" or what's "right/wrong" with people-- could indeed be called "violent communication."
What is Nonviolent Communication? Nonviolent Communication is the integration of four things:
* Consciousness: a set of principles that support living a life of compassion, collaboration, courage, and authenticity

* Language: understanding how words contribute to connection or distance

* Communication: knowing how to ask for what we want, how to hear others even in disagreement, and how to move toward solutions that work for all

* Means of influence: sharing "power with others" rather than using "power over others"
Nonviolent Communication serves our desire to do three things:
* Increase our ability to live with choice, meaning, and connection

* Connect empathically with self and others to have more satisfying relationships

* Sharing of resources so everyone is able to benefit
Publisher: Encinitas, CA : PuddleDancer Press, [2015]
Edition: 3rd edition
ISBN: 9781892005281
189200528X
Branch Call Number: 153.6 ROSENBERG
Characteristics: xix, 244 pages ; 23 cm

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From Library Staff

Rosenberg provides insight into the words and communication strategies that defuse a conflict, build trust, and dispel misunderstandings.

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ArapahoeJane Oct 31, 2016

This book rocked my world! Prior to reading this, I would have said that I was a pretty clear communicator. Now...maybe not! I was so taken by the message and examples that I bought the book so that I can reread it and refer to it.


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Jenmae21
Oct 21, 2019

Please get more copies of this book so people can renew it, and take it out without holds?!

STPL_STEPHANIE Aug 30, 2019

This book taught me the difference between a demand and a request. A demand and a request often sound the same. It is what happens after that differentiates them. If a demand is met with a no, a consequence results. With a request, saying no has no consequences. I find the examples in this book helpful and recommend it to use in personal and professional forums.

WestSlope_TheaH Nov 01, 2018

This is my all-time favorite book on communication and I highly, highly recommend it. Marshall Rosenberg's work has had such a big impact on my life and relationships. I have purchased this book to give as a gift multiple times. I think his formula of articulating feelings and needs and making requests of others is very effective. I cannot recommend this book highly enough!

d
Dlderose10
Sep 14, 2018

I really thought that I communicated well. This book helped shine the light on areas I needed to improve. Each page just about provides an example from a specific experience. It has been so helpful for me in all relationships. I recommend this book to everyone!

s
Summerday18
May 14, 2018

I’ve found this book very helpful to deal with conflicts that had me at a complete loss. Most of us grow up without the benefit of training in conflict resolution. Our society is quite judgemental, which the author calls a form of violence. I wouldn’t go that far, but agree that communicating without judgement gets you further. Rosenberg offers a four-step process: describing your observations, sharing your feelings, outlining your unmet needs, and finally sharing a request. It is always a request, never a demand. Demands to apologize merely build resentment. Listening skills are also discussed. Some surprising examples are provided where things might well have escalated but were brought to a peaceful resolution. An excellent sourcebook that can be referred to time and again.

r
ricardohdz
Feb 06, 2018

A practical book that helps you master the art of communication: how to understand other’s feelings, intentions and needs and how to handle them. The sample NVC principles outlined in our interaction with others can be applied to our own self and to groups. Thorough extensive use cases and examples, the book provides a clear and concise guide to practice and master NVC (non violent communication).

Start practicing today and you will immediately sense the difference it makes in your daily interactions.

1
11whales11
Nov 07, 2017

I would like to pick up at the Rosemount location.
Thank you,
Rachel

ArapahoeJane Oct 31, 2016

This book rocked my world! Prior to reading this, I would have said that I was a pretty clear communicator. Now...maybe not! I was so taken by the message and examples that I bought the book so that I can reread it and refer to it.

ksoles Aug 31, 2013

"Nonviolent Communication" strives to help readers connect with each other in a respectful, non-antagonistic manner. The book progresses smoothly from how to start thinking differently about communicating through to putting the techniques into practice. Real-world conversations serve as examples of the discussed approaches and tie the methods together nicely.

First, Rosenberg challenges readers to distinguish between phrases indicating observation and those indicating evaluation. "He is angry" contains an evaluation; the speaker couldn't know this for sure unless "he" told him/her. On the other hand, the observation, "he yelled at me" could easily lead to the evaluation, "he is angry." Rosenberg posits that the English language often loses this distinction, resulting in hard feelings. Thus, speaking only in terms of observations provides the first key to nonviolent communication; it leads to reflective discussion in which you simply observe what the other person says and repeat it back to him/her indicating your attempt to understand.

Next, Rosenberg focuses on communicating feelings. He points out a general tendency to expressing feelings ambiguously; a phrase such as "I feel stupid" doesn't help the other person understand because stupid is not a feeling. Instead, Rosenberg advocates for taking ownership of feelings, offering the sentence structure of, “I feel ______ because I ________” as a guide to better determine the source of your feelings. Most importantly, only you can control your feelings; no one else can force you to feel anything.

Although some of the book's conversation examples seem scripted and forced, "Nonviolent Communication" does contain a host of sound advice. Ultimately, Rosenberg teaches how to identify the other party's needs and listen empathetically rather than judging. An important lesson for anyone wanting to improve communication skills.

m
mccal006
Aug 27, 2012

A wonderful book that I came across in my training to work with crime victims and survivors of violence. Something everyone could benefit from, in both personal and professional relationships

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